Why I don’t tell my daughter what to wear

My daughter has been picking out her own outfits since before she was out of diapers. Which means sometimes (today) she goes out in public looking like this:


And I love it. And this is why:

1) Lucky enough to be born a female in this society, she is already guaranteed a lifetime supply of judgment on her appearance. I refuse to be the first person to tell her that there is something wrong with the way she looks. Period. There may be a time when I have to step in and tell her what she can and can’t wear in public, but not yet. Unless it’s too small, completely out of season (weather-wise, not fashionably), or activity inappropriate, I have no reason to intervene.

2) She is developing her own style and her own standards of judging her appearance. This morning she came in fully dressed and asked for a side ponytail. After I put it in, she looked in the mirror and literally BEAMED at her reflection. When is the last time you radiated with joy as a result of seeing yourself? Why would I ever want to dim that light? I want her to have enough days like today in front of the mirror that by the time someone tells her she should not wear leopard shoes with a floral scarf and black and grey checks, she says, “Screw you, I look fabulous!”

3) It’s easier. Let’s be real here – I have a very limited supply of time and patience in the morning, so the fewer battles I have to fight, the better. As I said earlier, if it suits the weather, the planned activities, and fits, then I’m happy. Oh, and it should be relatively clean. Not so much a problem with this one as her brother, but I do require fresh socks and fresh underwear every day.

4) My qualifications for judgment are lacking because I don’t understand fashion anyway. I work in a place where there are a lot of fashionable folks, and half the outfits I see make no sense to me. Sometimes I’ll even see ensembles that look like something my daughter would have picked out.  But I can’t tell if someone is fashion challenged or fashion forward.  So for all I know, she could be on the right track and I’d be steering her in the wrong direction.

5) Last, but certainly not least, she is beautiful in any outfit.  Her bright smile, her quick wit, her intelligent eyes, and her kind heart – those things, not her clothes, are what make ME radiate with joy whenever I see her.


About perfectday

There is always something bumping around in my head, and if I leave it up there, I will go crazy. So I try to get my thoughts out onto paper (or the current equivalent). Mostly this blog is just for me to keep my sanity, but I also hope there's a nugget or two in there that other people find worth reading.
This entry was posted in Important, Kid Stories, Most Liked, Most Viewed, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Why I don’t tell my daughter what to wear

  1. mamacravings says:

    I adore this! I heard a DJ say on KLOVE Radio that if it doesn’t speak to the content of her child, then it’s not a battle worth fighting.

    I adore her choice of outfit, her style and her individuality 🙂

  2. lbenbow says:

    Her and Kayla are definitely related!

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