As I get older, I’ve realized my Christmas list has gotten shorter, because the things I really want for the holidays can’t be bought. So here’s my list:
Yes, you read that right. I’d like your elves for Christmas. All of them. I know I can’t buy elves (believe me, I’ve looked into it – more than once!), so I want to borrow yours. Just for a day or two.
Why would I want elves, you ask? Well, for starters: laundry. Like piles and piles and piles of it. I don’t know how many elves you have, exactly, but I’m thinking if we put a few hundred on laundry duty, they should be able to get it all washed and dried and neatly put away.
I’m assuming some of your toy builders are handy with a hammer, right? We’d really like to get that basement finished. (Hopefully you have some electricians and plumbers in the mix too!) It’s not a huge space and we don’t need anything too complicated, so I’m sure they can finish it in a matter of days.
Then there’s my closets and pantry that all need to be emptied and organized. And the garage too. I mean, there are bins of “we’ll sort that crap out later” that have been around for an embarrassing amount of time.
And oh hey, I know these winter months are busy, so we can wait until spring. Actually, that might be even better because then we can put some elves to work holding a garage sale for all the crap from the closets, garage, and basement. And the ones who are still left over can start on some landscaping projects! I’d like to redo the front and we desperately need the backyard leveled, a patio added, and the deck fixed.
You have painters too, right? Because our front hallway needs a little elf magic – we can’t reach all the way up ourselves! And since that won’t take them too long, we have a couple other rooms that could use a fresh coat of paint. And I really want to retile our shower…
So anyway, Santa, I know you’re busy and I don’t want to keep you from getting the toys ready for the billions of kids. But I think I’ve been a pretty good girl this year and like I said, I’m not asking for much – just your elves!
Julia O. (from the Nice List)